so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
