i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
