drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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