just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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