fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
