Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
