I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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