I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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