did you get engaged???
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize