Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This baby is an asshole
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
