You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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