i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
