i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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