you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
