The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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