Texts From Last Night

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.

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  (573): Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving. http://tfl.nu/96e5
  Replies (33) Good night (754) Bad night (3142)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?

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  (917): your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin? http://tfl.nu/252o
  Replies (16) Good night (3964) Bad night (2047)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone

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  (303): she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone http://tfl.nu/1ml1
  Replies (20) Good night (1054) Bad night (6174)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am

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  (586): The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am http://tfl.nu/ycag
  Replies (13) Good night (2144) Bad night (939)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.

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  (281): i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend. http://tfl.nu/4vq3
  Replies (7) Good night (860) Bad night (1801)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.

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  (774): just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break. http://tfl.nu/t20t
  Replies (2) Good night (2103) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.

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  (541): i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts. http://tfl.nu/e6qn
  Replies (5) Good night (2133) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting

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  (772): Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting http://tfl.nu/dlj4
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.

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  (414): i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome. http://tfl.nu/5y9x
  Replies (2) Good night (1076) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.

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  (908): HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW. http://tfl.nu/s4dk
  Replies (6) Good night (976) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.

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  (919): When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs. http://tfl.nu/7b1r
  Replies (6) Good night (1529) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though

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  (512): I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though http://tfl.nu/zufj
  Replies (2) Good night (1157) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words

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  (704): She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words http://tfl.nu/kxrj
  Replies (5) Good night (833) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?

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  (956): Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch? http://tfl.nu/v3f3
  Replies (3) Good night (511) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  This was the best text I've ever woken up to

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  (734): I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck. (313): This was the best text I've ever woken up to http://tfl.nu/32h8
  Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (265)

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