pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?