Texts From Last Night

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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???

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  (501): he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date??? http://tfl.nu/obkl
  Replies (30) Good night (6419) Bad night (1237)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in

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  (480): I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in http://tfl.nu/axx9
  Replies (12) Good night (651) Bad night (4452)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation

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  (812): if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation http://tfl.nu/uyko
  Replies (106) Good night (5675) Bad night (891)
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  (510): View more from California

  And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"

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  (510): And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work" http://tfl.nu/x4nq
  Replies (40) Good night (805) Bad night (10609)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  so yall hooked up?

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  (203): I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone. (1-203): so yall hooked up? http://tfl.nu/j54f
  Replies (19) Good night (5480) Bad night (1406)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'

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  (+44): He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.' http://tfl.nu/uc3v
  Replies (24) Good night (4876) Bad night (1212)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?

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  (281): Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"? http://tfl.nu/nflv
  Replies (13) Good night (4987) Bad night (1066)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com

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  (770): The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com http://tfl.nu/sswj
  Replies (38) Good night (1303) Bad night (3121)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.

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  (312): Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila. http://tfl.nu/u7b7
  Replies (2) Good night (1235) Bad night (498)
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  (909): View more from California

  It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me

  (626): View more from California

  And a merry methadone to all

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  (909): It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me (626): And a merry methadone to all http://tfl.nu/a55x
  Replies (2) Good night (1069) Bad night (565)
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  (347): View more from New York

  The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That does not seem like timing

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  (347): The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is? (973): That does not seem like timing http://tfl.nu/n0dp
  Replies (3) Good night (491) Bad night (557)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?

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  (205): You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street? http://tfl.nu/z15o
  Replies (2) Good night (956) Bad night (285)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap

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  (336): That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap http://tfl.nu/hjra
  Replies (3) Good night (258) Bad night (812)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?

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  (208): So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/wzsh
  Replies (6) Good night (554) Bad night (342)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup

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  (919): I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup http://tfl.nu/nvuh
  Replies (2) Good night (392) Bad night (228)

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