guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
