when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
