You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize