Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
