just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
