If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
