is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
