she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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