i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
