Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
