I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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