dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize