i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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