he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
