I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
