I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize