found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
