and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize