clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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