ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
