I love having hate sex.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
