I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
