walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wish I only lived at night.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
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Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
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Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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