Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
