Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
