so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
