so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize