Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
