It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
