It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
