But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
