there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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