my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
barbara walters just said penis...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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