; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
