It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
