Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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