Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
