Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
