Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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